You can’t heal what you don’t acknowledge—and unresolved trauma is a prime example.
As Cole points out, trauma doesn’t always come from dramatic, life-shattering events. It can be subtle. It can be quiet. It can look like chronic emotional neglect, a tough breakup, or even years of self-criticism. And while we may think we’ve “moved on,” the body often tells a different story.
“They know it wasn’t good,” Cole says, “but they don’t realize what it did to their mitochondria. They don’t realize what it did to their nervous system and their inflammation levels.” In other words, trauma isn’t just stored in your memory—it’s stored in your biology.
And yet, so many people dismiss their experiences because others have “had it worse.” That kind of self-gaslighting only adds another layer of emotional burden.
The truth? Trauma is relative. You don’t need to justify your pain or compare it to someone else’s to make it valid. If it’s affecting you, it matters.
Where to begin: Healing trauma is a deeply personal journey, but it starts with acknowledgement. Gentle practices like somatic therapy, breathwork, EMDR, or simply journaling about past experiences can begin to move stuck emotions out of the body. The key is creating a safe space—whether with a therapist or on your own—to start processing.
